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  • Melissa Stewart

I like me.

I like me. I didn't always like me. To be honest, there was a time that I despised me. I was like that mean girl in school. Judging. Negative. Critical. Of myself. I used to think cruel and hateful things about myself. I would tell myself that I was fat, disgusting, ugly, a bad mom, a bad person, a bad wife, worthless, unwanted.


These are lies. And they were destructive to my soul. And these lies would take over my body, soul, and mind and manifest in my actions. I found myself for years when I was single, after my divorce, getting into relationships with jerks who were selfish and insecure and didn't respect me. And because I didn't think I deserved anything better, I allowed this treatment. I look back at those days, and I shudder. Respect yourself if you want others to respect you.


I didn't see my strengths at that time. I wasn't viewing myself through the lens of God, my Creator's eyes. I am fearfully and wonderfully made by Him, who loves me and sees me as the amazing and unique life that I am. I was too busy looking at myself through the lens of judgement and criticism. Yes I had made mistakes. Yes I had chosen the wrong path a number of times. But I finally came to realize, that that isn't my identity. I am a forgiven and restored human and that's how God sees me and that's how those that really love me see me.


Your thoughts are powerful. The things you tell yourself throughout the day, the thoughts you dwell on, are shaping you and directing you in what you do. If you feel like you're a failure and you can't succeed at anything, then you probably won't. If you feel you are worthless and a loser, then chances are you will settle for mediocrity in your life and never reach your full potential. You will also be a magnet for negative and destructive people in your life that will hold you back and keep you feeling defeated.


It wasn't until I started strengthening myself, outside and then inside, that I finally ATTRACTED the man I married two years ago. I say "attracted" because until then, I had been attracting a bunch of insecure and jealous men into my life. But once I started putting out vibes into this world that I was strong, confident, and sure of myself, Mike came along. He is everything all of those other men were not. Selfless, secure, trusting, caring, NOT jealous, and he has made me a better mom and woman.


If you struggle with this, then you should sit down and write out all of the accomplishments in your life. Write out all of the positive traits that people have pointed out to you that you possess. Think of the moments in your life when you felt extremely proud of yourself or when you reached a goal you had set. Everyone, and I mean everyone, has gifts and character strengths that are unique to them. There is beauty and talent in all of us.


Beating yourself up with negative thoughts and self-talk will do nothing but cause you to regress and stay stagnant. There is NO GOOD that comes from it. It does not motivate you to be better or to take action. In contrast, when you speak positive and encouraging thoughts to yourself, you will begin to live your life believing that you are capable of having a life of prosperity, success, and fulfillment. And that you DESERVE it.


Try this: Every time you become aware of your "inner critic" speaking lies of negative and self-deprecating talk to yourself, STOP, and remind yourself of something positive or of a strength that you know you possess and dwell on that. Will yourself to focus on a good trait or something about yourself that you are thankful for. You will be surprised just how powerful the practice of positive thinking will be in your life.


(Share with me in the comments if this is something you have struggled with or do struggle with currently and what you have done that has helped.)


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